Patient – endure suffering
Present – occurring now
Prepared – get ready
After having made thousands of mistakes, I came to a place where I wanted to start living without so much pain. Looking at my past to understand my current situation, I realized that that was a big part of my problem. I’m sure most people will say “of course” to my next statement, but that’s okay. I realized I live in the present, here and now, not in the past, and not in the future. I’ve spent hours, days, weeks, months and years thinking of the past and the future, not realizing within each moment I was falling further from life. The illusion I existed in was leading to my death. Not until this realization, that life is now (in the present), will I live.
My awareness of consciousness transformed my entire existence. In the moment of awakening, the darkness completely vanished. All my senses were focused on the now. The darkness of my regret, sorrow, sadness, past failures, future failures, anxiety, and fear disappeared. Amazing transformation! Complete bliss. It felt as though I was floating on a cloud in the beautiful peaceful sky.
Honk. Honk honk. Hooonk! The guy behind me motioned the light change. I paused and looked around. Realized I had dozed off. Chuckled to myself. Hooonk! Okay, I’m moving. I was in a dream of illusion, but right before I dozed off I’m sure I experienced a moment of clarity, consciousness, awareness, peace. The moment may have only lasted a second or two, but I’m sure it was real.
This experience prompted me to search and retain an enduring awareness of the present. I needed to remove myself from this past of destruction and cease living in the illusionary constructs of past and future, a lie that had been deeply grounded in my psyche. I began my journey of self-discovery. My first discovery was expanding the understanding of the three domains that encompass human life. The three domains are physical, mental, and emotional (PME). Some scholars referred to the three domains as the psychomotor, cognitive, and affective.
During this journey I recognized the importance of reminders. Some type of prompt that would redirect me when I felt I was off course. I settled on the 3P2B. The 3P2B originated when I asked myself when feeling stressed or anxious, and considering doing something to get rid of the pain, what I wanted? I want to be patient. I want to be present. I want to be prepared.
For me to be patient I need to refrain from hasty action. Whatever the perceived situation, action taken in haste, quite often intensifies and does not extinguish or remove the discomfort. Taking a deep breath to calm myself, and realizing I was feeling the stress of what just happened or what I think may happen (past and future). Observe the present situation. Remove yourself from immediate physical harm. Acknowledge the truth that I am alive right now. I live right now. I can’t actually live in the past or future. I’m living right now. I know this is true. Even though the truth should be simple, insanity creates irrational complexity. Pain and pleasure created from memories (past) and illusions of imagination (future) can be harmful, so patience and restraint from hasty PME action is essential. Being patient provides an opportunity to acknowledge the present.
For me to be present I need to stay awake. I need to be fully aware and deliberately responding to my surroundings. This is the preeminent destination but the most difficult place to remain. I recognized the importance of prompts to help me return to the present because I realize there are thousands of triggers that are continuously pulling me into a subconscious and unconscious terminal existence. As I acknowledge this tendency and power of influence, it reminds me of an imperative truth that I have control. I have control. But, it’s very easy to forget this critical truth of control, especially when “living” in the past or future, being the victim and blaming others. This avoidance behavior provides temporary relief from pain, but provides no substance for the fulfillment of life. This temporary relief from pain gives an illusion of freedom, a perception not real and not present. To fight or ignore memories to attempt to stay present actually provokes illusion. Assumptions and judgments only separate us from reality. I find to be present, to be conscious, I need just to be.
For me to be prepared I need to get ready. This is especially important in regard to physical and mental sustainability. As I acknowledge being present I am also aware of my needs, wants, desires and imagination. I consider those things and take steps to prepare to receive them if the opportunity is presented. If agitation, distress or conflicts arise to consciousness, I’m reminded to be patient. To be prepared enables me to sustain life.